ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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