Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
