he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
