I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
