I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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