I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
