Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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