Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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