I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
