Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
