Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You left your phone here
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