I've blown a few things in my day
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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