i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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