normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
