JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
