Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
