Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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