dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize