You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
