He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she told me i tasted like america
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
