He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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