As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
