There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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