i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
