I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
