My Higher Power is John Stamos
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
