yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
