He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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