Having a random hookup so left but love u
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
