Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
