So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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