i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
