Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
