I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
