The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If its not for food we ain't going out.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
