I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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