I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
