I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
