the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
