When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
