I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
