this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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