my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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