she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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