i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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