you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
