you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
