Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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