Pappa wants mamma naked
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
