Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if only i could text you this smell
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Pooping to opera.
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