he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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