I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
