I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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