My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
