I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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