Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
