Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
40s are totally the cure
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
where are my pants?
in the oven.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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