I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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