apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Drunk is not a location!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
