If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
