Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
