So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
