You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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